Dispatches From Behind The Apron Strings

ooohh, I love a mystery ...

2009-11-15T11:57:00.010-05:00

It's been an interesting few days since I last posted. The history student and I exchanged emails and information. Then I once again did a search on my great-great grandfather, Arthur Manuel Hall. This time I got a result that I had never seen before. I think it may be because the file I found was updated since I last performed a search. Anyways, I found a photo of Arthur and a comment left by a man who said he was Arthur's grandson. The problem was the man in the photo did not look like our Arthur. All of the other details were correct.

I managed to track the grandson down on facebook. He is my grandmother's first cousin. They had lost touch probably fifty to sixty years ago. He emailed me two pictures that he had of our grandfather Arthur, one of them also showing my great-grandfather Arthur Jr. The man in the photo that I posted on my blog last year is definitely not Arthur!

Ok, so maybe this is why I was being kicked in the pants about Arthur. I had incorrectly identified him. Well actually it was my grandmother. She had said that is the only person who her picture could be. Apparently she was wrong.

So now we have a mystery man. I have been sharing my new found information with my grandmother hoping that something might jog her memory. So far no luck.

In the meantime I blew up the photo of the mystery man and this is what I see.

1. It appears that he may be an amputee. You'll notice his legs are crossed, but where is his right foot?

2. The woman in the picture is wearing what looks like a nurse's uniform.

3. The man's hair is moppy, like someone who might have been convalescing and not on active duty.

4. The man does not have the maple leaf pin on his collar like the others do in the previous photographs. This means that he could be a British soldier. Their uniforms were very similar except the Canadians wore the maple leaf on their collar.

So who is this mytery man? My grandmother says there was definitely no mention of any relatives becoming amputees during the war (of course we know now that she may not be the most reliable source!). Perhaps it is a mystery woman that we are looking for. My great-great grandfather had four daughters. Perhaps one of them served as a wartime nurse. Maybe one of the couple in the photograph is a relative from England. Maybe I'll never know, but at least I'll have some fun trying to solve this puzzle.

Thinking that fate has just kicked me in my big procrastinating writery butt ...

2009-11-11T13:05:00.005-05:00

It goes without saying that it's been a long, long time since I posted here. Life just has a funny way of throwing things at you and I'm just way too easily distracted by those things. Lately, though, the calmness and routine that I crave have been slowly creeping back and my mind has been turning once again to my writing. Of course it hasn't been turning enough to actually drag me to the keyboard for anything more than grinding out my monthly column. That is until this morning. Sometimes fate decides that we need a big cosmic kick in the butt. I think I just got one.

Anyone who follows (followed) my blog may remember this post from November 11, 2008. I wrote about discovering my great-great grandfather, Arthur Hall, and learning about his service in WWI.

Last night my seven year old was working on a project for Remembrance Day and I pulled up that piece to check on some details. Then, after talking to her about our family's military history I felt compelled to attend the service today at our local Legion. When I returned home I decided to re-read my post from last year about my grandfather. Then I clicked on the comments. At the bottom of the list was one that I had never seen before. It had been left in May .

The writer was a student who told me that she is studying history at university and was leaving in a few days with a small group for a battlefield study tour. As part of this project she had to choose a Canadian soldier and deliver a brief presentation about him to the other students in the group. She had chosen my grandfather! (she had found him through her local Legion's website).
She assured me that he was not forgotten (as I has mentioned in my post) and that in two weeks she would be visiting his grave and sharing his story with 15 other students.

I will admit I had chills. Then my heart sank. I realized that she didn't have a blogger account. How was I going to find her? I had questions. Fortunately my mind hasn't become so cluttered that I forgot about facebook. I searched her name and school. I found a girl that seemed to be a match. I sent her a message and she replied with in about 20 minutes. I had found my girl! I have since sent her a more detailed reply and am hoping to hear back from her.

Doing more research and writing more extensively about Arthur is always something I have intended to do. It was however, something that I have had simmering on the back burner. I had started another unrelated WIP last winter. But Arthur is always somewhere in the back of my mind. Perhaps the events of the last 24 hours are his way of telling me that I need to stop ignoring him, we need to get better acquainted.

It's been how long?

2009-07-23T10:28:00.002-04:00

Wow. I'm a delinquent blogger. Had lots of stuff going on. I'm hoping to get back on track shortly.

In the mean time here's some inspiration words I found on an old friend's FB page. While generally I don't go around quoting popes, Clare is going through a very difficult time and I thought this was a beautiful passage:

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.” - Pope John XXIII

Ninja baby strikes again!

2009-06-07T11:02:00.007-04:00

We are very proud to congratulate our little papaya on earning her yellow belt in karate!

Ours is the "petite" one on the right (please note: I have distorted the girls' faces to protect their super secret ninja identities).

What a schmuck!

2009-05-29T14:00:00.004-04:00

So today the pop culture world is all a-twitter. Archie is going to propose ... to Veronica.

Initially I was agast. As a former blonde (my hair has darkened with age, another cruel joke of father time) I always rooted for Betty as a child. Not only did our hair match, but she was the nice one. What does Veronica have to offer? Ok, she has crap-loads of money, but beyond that where's the substance?! She's spoiled and selfish ... I guess it's not surprising that Archie would do the stereotypical male thing and go for the bad girl with the big bank account. Good luck with that, and the pre-nup and the marriage lasting more than five years ...

Once I got over the absurdity of it all I realized that Betty is better off. He's been stringing both of these gals on for years and it's taken him how long to decide?! I say good ridance! Betty, honey, you're better off without him!

Fan-freakin'-tastrek!

2009-05-17T19:17:00.009-04:00

It's not often I do movie reviews, probably because it's not often that I actually get to see a movie (unless you count watching Disney dvd's with my kids). But, today, thanks to the baby sitting services of my darling sis, my hubby & I busted out and went to see the new Star Trek film.

I LOVED it! My husband isn't completely sold yet, which surprised me since he's a big trekkie (well, not a Klingon-speaking-convention-attending grade of trekkie, but he is a faithful follower of the franchise). He had issues with the whole time-travel rehash, blah, blah, blah ... But, the casting was spot on (except for maybe Scotty), the special effects were spectacular and some of the action sequences (one particular scene involving Kirk and Sulu) were superb. I think someone who is familiar with the original tv series would especially enjoy this prequel, which chronicles how the crew of the Enterprise came together. There were many humourous moments that fans of the show would appreciate. And, who knew Spock could be sexy?! (the young one that is ... ). For that feat alone this flick deserves five stars!

Can't wait for the sequels! Two enthusiastic thumbs up!

Funky, and good for the environment ...

2009-05-15T14:46:00.004-04:00

As you may know, my monthly column is about my family's efforts to green our lifestyle. I also like to point out some of the quirkier or more unusal ways that people try to be environmentally friendly.

Today these guys were just thrown into my lap. I was listening to "Q" as usual on CBC radio and they were the guests. Their band is called Mr. Something Something. What do they have to do with saving the planet? They have started performing concerts where members of the audience are invited up to pedal bikes that power their amps and p.a. system ... a green powered show with a bit of environmental awareness ed. thrown in. And the bonus is they have a very funky sound.

Here's a sample. Happy weekend (happy long weekend here in Canada - woo hoo!)

Profound things a six year old wants to know at 6:50 in the morning ...

2009-05-05T09:56:00.003-04:00

This morning our six year old crawled into bed with me. My husband had already left for work and it wasn't quite time to get our four year old up. My daughter and I enjoy these cuddle times. This morning she looked very serious. Then our conversation went like this:

M: Do cats die if they aren't sick?

me: Well, eventually they will when they get old.

M: Just like people?

me: Yes.

M: Why do people die?

me: Their bodies just get old and tired.

M: Will you die when I'm a teenager, or an adult?

me: Hopefully not until you're an adult.

M: Good. I've been worrying about that.

me: (snuggling her a little closer) You shouldn't worry about that honey.

M: OK. (brief pause) Why do we have lips attached to our faces?

me: Because if we just had a gaping hole for a mouth bugs and mice might crawl in.

The conversation suddenly came to a halt.

I know it's normal for kids to think about death and worry about the death of their parents, but I did find the randomness of her follow-up question pretty funny. I really do wonder what goes on in my kids' heads!

Don't mess with my Papaya ... revisited

2009-04-30T21:05:00.001-04:00

Throwing that monkey off my back ...

2009-04-26T22:50:00.004-04:00

The last few weeks have wrought quite a writing drought for me. It was more than just writer's block. I didn't want to write. Had no interest in it at all. I actually was kind of resenting it. I had nagging voices in my head telling me to march my arse over to the keyboard and type something a tad more meaningful than my current facebook status, but I just would not do it.

Adding to this was the knowledge that I should be sending another column to the paper. We had mutually agreed. They would give me a venue for my work and I would produce them a monthly column. Well it was approaching the end of the month and I hadn't written a word.

It hung over me all weekend and the stress turned me into one cranky momma. So tonight I had to end my anguish. I parked my butt behind my keyboard and grinded out a column. It felt great. It was painful, but an exhilarating kind of pain. I'm actually energized now and am somewhat interested in stringing words together again. Hallelujah.

One of the finest displays of douche-baggery I've seen in a while ...

2009-04-09T16:32:00.003-04:00

Not that I use the term very frequently, but if the shoe fits ...
Props to Jian for attempting to carry on with the interview despite his guest's assinine behaviour. And note to BBT ... your band wouldn't be getting the media attention it's received if it weren't for the fact that you are an acclaimed actor. And comparing yourself to Tom Petty? Please. Oh, and three more words - substance.abuse.counselling. Look into it.

Big day ...

2009-04-01T15:56:00.005-04:00

First, and most importantly ... Happy Birthday to my sweet baby! She is 4 years old today! I can't believe how time flies.

Second, and much less importantly (but not without some significance to me) is my column has been published again in the local paper. It came as a bit of a surprise to me. The editor had asked me to send him my next piece and he would bank it until he had a slot for it. I guess he had a slot sooner than I expected! I clued in when friends started mentioning it to me. Maybe I should pay more attention to my own work ...

If you're interested you can read it here.

Mom ...

2009-03-29T16:14:00.002-04:00

In loving memory ...

June 8, 1941 - March 29, 2007

Always in our hearts.

Earth Hour ...

2009-03-21T16:43:00.006-04:00

May I direct your attention to the shiny new web badge in the margin. Go ahead, click on it. It will take you to the website for Earth Hour 2009. Once there you can learn all about Earth Hour, register, and find ways that you can support this eco-initiative.

If you haven't heard of Earth Hour before it's a pretty simple concept. On Saturday, March 28 the organizers ask that you turn off your lights for one hour starting at 8:30 pm local time. Why? To show our politicians that we care about global warming. The goal this year is one billion participants world wide. The statistics from Earth Hour will then be presented to world leaders at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen. If you plan on participating it's important to register!!!

While the rules don't explicitly state it, I think it doesn't really count if you just turn off the lights and continue to blast the stereo, run the dishwasher and lay on the couch in front of the tv. Now I know it might be extremely painful in many Canadian households to switch off Hockey Night In Canada for a full hour, but it is for a good cause. And besides, by 8:30 the kids should be in bed. I'm sure you can find something else to occupy your time ; )

Officially in print ...

2009-03-18T21:08:00.005-04:00

Today my first column appeared in our local newspaper. It's a few weeks later than I thought, but better late than never! Unfortunately I don't have a link. They don't post all of the articles to the website every week and my column hasn't been uploaded yet (so likely won't make it this time). You'll just have to take my word for it that it's a fantastic read. LOL ... And I must give a shout out to one of my bloggy bff's, Miss Sarah J. Clark for the tip about the "family cloth". It was the inspiration for the piece. So, thank you Sarah! Mwah!

*ETA: the link is up. You can read my column here.

The most important book I will ever write ...

2009-03-09T10:58:00.008-04:00

While I do have a badly neglected WIP it will have to remain neglected for a little while longer. Lately I find myself compelled to tackle an even more important project, our youngest daughter's "life book." This book is intended to chronical all of the information about an adopted child's life before they came to live with their forever family. It is especially important for internationally adopted children since there is usually very little information available to them regarding the beginnings of their lives. So now I sit my computer and cobble together the scant details, information about her homeland and the sparse photos with the hope that I can create a narrative that will help our daughter understand as much as she can about who she is and where she's come from. As she grows we wish for her to be as proud of herself as we are that she is our wonderful child. This book will hopefully be a valuable tool in that process.

And The Winner Is ...

2009-03-06T12:29:00.006-05:00

A few months ago I wrote a post about CBC's annual literary smackdown, Canada Reads. Today the winner was revealed ...

The Book of Negroes By Lawrence Hill

I am currently reading this book and so far I have to say it is a fantastic read. I highly recommend it. Actually, based on the discussions of the panelists I would recommend any of the contenders. They all sound like interesting, compelling books (you can find the list and their descriptions in my original post).

2009-03-04T21:17:00.004-05:00

Well, it looks like my article didn't make it into this week's paper after all, so sorry, no link. Hopefully next week. So this leaves me with a question about what to post. hmmm ...

I could rant about the hell that is the passport office, but many of you already know of what I speak, so that would be redundant. Although I will at least vent about the fact that you would think an office of the federal government would have a friggin' parking lot! What's with all the "no passport office parking" signs?!! I had to walk two blocks in the subarctic winds with my little babushka in a stroller. Not fun. Nor was the hour and a half wait. Or having to listen to the rednecks in the back of the room talking about "uneducated losers" who are now working as armed border guards and how they targeted the lead redneck as a terrorist (interestingly enough, because he looked somewhat like a demented Santa). Then they took a turn bashing Quebec ... Then, lucky us, demented redneck Santa zeroed in on me and the babuska and started quizzing me about her hearing aids. Weird. And uncomfortable. At least we made it out of there before I ended up with a parking ticket. The high point of my afternoon.

Coming to a paper near you ...

2009-02-24T13:36:00.004-05:00

Actually, it's only to a paper near me, so if you don't live in my area I guess you're outta luck. Starting next week (I think) I will be writing a monthly column for one of our local papers. While it's just something small, it's a start. I'm excited to be committing to doing some writing on a regular basis. Now I just need to make the same commitment to my WIP.

Obama envy ...

2009-02-18T17:55:00.006-05:00

Tomorrow Barak Obama makes his first official visit to our beautiful country and the Canadian media is acting like a giddy school girl. But can you blame them? This man has made history. This man is hope incarnate on so many levels for so many people. This man inspires. Is it any wonder that it's not just the American people who are enamoured with him? Don't we all wish we had an Obama?!

I think this envy is felt not just for the man himself. As a Canadian I feel envious that our southern neighbours have found a leader that excites his people. He aspires for a better country and leads his citizens to follow that dream. He is someone that his people trust. While I wish Obama was born in Halifax rather than Hawaii, I have to accept reality. He's already taken. In the mean time we are left pushing our noses against the glass and dreaming about what our neighbours are so lucky to have found. Of course there is that guy named Trudeau ... I guess we'll just have to see what ten years or so bring ...

And so it begins ... sigh

2009-02-13T22:36:00.003-05:00

So tonight we're eating dinner. Our six year old comments about how skinny her little sister is (she is VERY thin - a tall, almost four year old with the waist size of a 24mth old). M says, "she's so skinny and I'm fat." Of course we immediately jump all over that. M is not fat at all, really, not parental bias talking here. She's small (go figure). In fact she is so small that she is the second smallest kid in a SK/grade 1 split class at school and she's in grade one. But she's not a petite, little elfin waif. She has a cute little compact muscular build. My husband likes to call her the "pocket rocket". A few hours later she said it again "I'm fat." Once more we reassured her that she is in no way fat and she replies that her friend "M" is skinny and she wants to be skinny like "M". My husband tells her skinny isn't pretty. She rolls her eyes and leaves the room.

Why oh why at six years old is my child now worried about her weight?! We're not sure if this requires further investigation (ie. has someone said something to her) or if she's just testing the waters and checking our reaction. In the mean time I'm left shaking my head. What a sad commentary on our society.

Making some noise and actually being heard!

2009-02-12T11:12:00.003-05:00

You may recall my rambling posts a few weeks ago about the changes to Canada's Citizenship Act and how it will potentially affect the children of kids adopted internationally (you can scroll back and read if you missed it, I won't get into it again here). Well I am amazed to report that the Citizenship and Immigration Minister has apparently listened to the concerns of adoptive parents and is asking his officials to review the legislation. The issues that the new legislation have created for adopted children were allegedly an oversight (although I find it hard to believe that not one person involved in this whole process didn't catch it, especially when the Ministry's website contains a specific reference to adopted persons in it's explanation of the impending changes, however I digress ...). It is heartening to know that the outcry was heard. Let's just hope that it can affect some change.

Props to the girl in the shiny silver dress

2009-02-08T22:27:00.003-05:00

So my hubby and I are watching the Grammys tonight. The announcer introduces Kanye West. He starts singing. I'm thinking "he doesn't sound that great. Obviously he's someone who benefits from a little post-production ." Then this girl joins him on stage. She starts singing. Now I recognize the song. She's good. In fact, she carries the song, does most of the singing. I figure Mr. West will introduce her at the end. The applause fades. He acknowledges someone else and then introduces the next segment. There is obsolutely no mention of the girl with the voice standing next to him. I found this odd, and insulting for the singer. Out of curiousity I looked it up. It turns out the song isn't even Kanye West's. It's the girl's! Her name is Estelle. The single is "American Boy" featuring Kanye West. Bizarre. I think Miss Estelle needs to get herself a better manager or contract or something.

2009-02-03T18:23:00.002-05:00

Congrats Hedley - love this song - kinda touches a cord right now.

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

2009-01-26T10:43:00.006-05:00

Happy Lunar New Year!

No, we're not Chinese, but one of our daughters is, and this leads us down a tricky path. It is important for us to recognize and honour her heritage. To deny it would be denying who she is and where she came from. At the same time we don't foster any delusions that we are a Chinese family celebrating in the way a "normal" Chinese family would. That would be impossible. So in the mean time we cobble together a modest celebration to acknowledge the event without, hopefully, bastardizing the whole thing and throwing at our daughter some funky white westernized version of the real thing. Fortunately I've had some tips from our daughter's former foster mother. We are also lucky that our girl is still young enough that as long as the festivities involve authentic Chinese noodles it's good enough for her.

Don't mess with my papaya!

2009-01-22T21:06:00.003-05:00

What's this?

It's a karate belt. A white stripe belt to be precise (though to me it looks more like a black stripe, but that's beside the point). What is the point is that my sweet little Maiapapaya was just graded for the first time in karate and earned this nice little number. Tonight I'm a very proud mamma to a very proud little (and I mean 43" little) peanut.

Oh, it gets even better ...

2009-01-21T14:11:00.008-05:00

This morning I received an excerpt from a transcript from a meeting of the Parliamentary subcommittee for Citizenship and Immigration. The following quote was an example being put forward by the Honourable Andrew Telegdi who was one of the vice-chairs of the committee (a Citizenship and Immigration subcommittee is currently not sitting because our chicken-a$$ Prime Minister suspended parliament) Mr. Telegdi was apparently expressing his concern with the impending changes to the Citizenship Act:

"Suppose, for example, a Canadian couple are spending a few years working abroad and give birth outside Canada to a baby. Let's call her Anna. It could actually be a soldier. She is a Canadian citizen through her parents. The family returns to Canada when Anna is six months old and she grows up in Canada. And we heard from Mr. Teichroeb, who had a similar situation. As a young adult, she chooses to study abroad and finds herself pregnant. If she gives birth to her child outside Canada, the child is not a Canadian citizen under the terms of Bill C-37.

If the baby--let's call her Mary Ann--happens to be not entitled to any other citizenship, she will be stateless. Bill C-37 does have provisions to allow Mary Ann, and others like her, to apply for Canadian citizenship if they are stateless; however, there are a number of conditions that must be met, including the requirement that the stateless child of a Canadian citizen should have resided for three or four years preceding their application. This means the child will have to remain stateless for at least three years.

This bill also fails to explain on what basis Mary Ann would be allowed to enter Canada in order to meet the three-year residency requirement. Even if Anna attempts to sponsor her child as an immigrant under family class, she will face a challenge in finding travel documents for Mary Ann so she can travel to Canada as a stateless person. She is not entitled to a passport."

Our adopted daughter is caught up by the same problem with the legislation as the fictional girl "Anna" in the example above (having been born abroad, but the child, in our case adopted, of Canadian parents). The plight her child "Mary Ann" faces could be the same as that of a future grandchild for us. While it's unlikely that our daughter will give birth abroad, it's not an impossibility and our own government has just set up the mechanism by which our grandchild could be a stateless individual caught in limbo with no means by which to even enter Canada and attempt to obtain her citizenship.

I have sent some letters, but I am doubtful they will change anything. This garbage has already received royal ascent and comes into affect in April, just in time for our daughter's birthday. Nice gift.

Not really equal ...

2009-01-20T09:29:00.007-05:00

(warning: long, somewhat complicated rant about the rights or lack thereof of our adopted daughter. But, ya, it is important)

When I became the adoptive mother of a child from a different country I was prepared for the inevitability that at some point I would have to crawl out of my cocoon of white privilege and advocate for her. I just didn't realize it would have to be against my own government.

At the time when we adopted our daughter we had to apply to sponsor her to immigrate to Canada. When she landed in a Canadian port of entry she was granted permanent resident status (by virtue of being the legal child of Canadian parents) and then we had to apply for her Canadian citizenship. While adopted children's applications were expedited (and the normal three year wait was waived) it was added stress and bureaucracy that many adoptive parents felt that they shouldn't have to endure (heavens know we'd already been through enough). If we had received government approval to adopt these children and they are legally ours in every sense why would they not be afforded the same rights as our biological children and given automatic citizenship? Many other countries, such as the United States, were already recognizing this right for their internationally adopted children. Finally in January of last year a great deal of lobbying paid off and the government began granting automatic citizenship to the internationally adopted children of Canadian citizens.

Unfortunately it seems the equality of rights for our biological daughter and our adopted daughter will be short lived. As of April the federal government will be enacting new citizenship legislation. A major part of this legislation addresses Canadians who were born in another country.

Up until now, children born to Canadian citizens, regardless where these children were born, were granted automatic citizenship. This has become problematic for the government. There are those who have abused this privilege. They will immigrate here, obtain citizenship and all of the rights and benefits that it affords, but then return to their country of birth. They will have children, who are automatically Canadians. These people may never reside in our country again, but will demand assistance in times of crisis. They may come here for free health care if they have a serious medical situation. This is taking advantage of the system and I understand the government's desire to quash this type of abuse. This is the impetus behind the legislative changes that are about to come into effect. But the careless, lazy way the new law has been written will impact upon our youngest daughter.

The new law states that if someone is a Canadian citizen, but was born outside of Canada any children that are born to them outside of our borders or adopted from a birth country outside of Canada will not be granted citizenship. The legislation even goes so far as to specifically mention that this applies to children born in other countries who are adopted by Canadians. In other words, if in the future our biological daughter gives birth while outside of Canada or adopts a child born outside of Canada her child will automatically be a Canadian. If, on the other hand, our legally adopted, supposedly equal in every way, daughter gives birth while outside of Canada or adopts a child born outside of Canada her child will not be granted citizenship. This is ridiculous. Our children are being raised side by side within the borders of our country. They will both hopefully become contributiging members of Canadian society. But, because our adopted daughter happened to be born somewhere else she does not share the same rights as her sister.

There are absolutely no provisions in this legislation regarding residency or ties to Canada (ie. having Canadian parents). The government will not take into consideration the fact that my daughter is living here and is in every way a member of Candian society. She will be classed the same as the system abuser who has obtained citizenship and returned to their country of origin.

You might think "what's the big deal?" "What are the odds that she will have a baby while working or travelling abroad?" Probably not great. What are the odds she will adopt? Pretty reasonable. Many adult adoptees do. But the bigger issue is equal rights. It's the principle.

When we were granted approval from the province of Ontario to adopt our daughter we received a letter. In that letter there were two lines that struck me. They read:
"Once the adoption is finalized, Ontario legislation recognizes the child as a full member of the adopting family and as such the child is treated in the same manner as all other children of legally constituted families. Ontario welcomes the child from China ..." It is hurtful and maddening that our federal government does not seem to share the same sentiment towards our daughter.

For a lack of anything better ...

2009-01-17T16:05:00.008-05:00

I've been kind of down for a few days, questioning what I'm doing in my life (nothing serious, you know, just one of those moods - so don't worry family members who I know are reading this, this funk excludes my husband and kids who I'm grateful to say are the best thing in my life). So, because I don't want to bore you with my pity party here's a little Saturday afternoon entertainment. I like these guys. Thought you might too.

Ah, just go google yourself!

2009-01-12T21:31:00.004-05:00

So at the encouragement of Elise's last post I googled myself. Quite honestly not a terribly interesting read (though that might be a good thing), just some tags to a couple of articles I wrote for Root and Sprout and a five year old duathlon result. So, for a lack of anything better to write about (I'm actually working on a few new projects and am saving my scant brain power for that) here's some interesting things about myself that you won't find if you google my name:

1. By my formal education I am a Prosthetic/Orthotic technician. I am trained to make artificial limbs and orthopedic braces. Unfortunately where I currently live there are no clinics where I can ply my trade.
2. I used to fence competitively.
3. I once had a drink bought for me in a pub in a small Newfoundland town by a former Star Trek cast member.
4. I know how to weld.
5. I'm a step, bio and adoptive mother.

What interesting things will I not find out about you if I google your name?

Spam update:

2009-01-08T21:01:00.002-05:00

So I contacted my email provider's IT department again. This time I went directly through the spam filter's techincal support link. I received a very prompt reply. Apparently it's my fault. They informed me that I should not have my own email addy listed as an approved sender. Of course! Now don't I feel like a silly bitch. But seriously. How stupid is that?! I have to block myself as a sender?!

Oh, and now I have the image of an extremely well-endowed Christmas elf smugly parading around in my head ("nine inches in 2009..." ). Thanks for that Ray.

Fargin' SPAM!

2009-01-05T22:02:00.003-05:00

spam: n. Unsolicited e-mail, often of a commercial nature, sent indiscriminately to multiple mailing lists, individuals, or newsgroups; junk e-mail.

You've all heard of it. And I've got it. Applenty. What really has me ticked is that up until a month ago I NEVER had it. My email server's spam filter worked like a charm. Not anymore. Something has changed. SPAM is blasting into my inbox at an alarming rate. And the crazy part is, apparently it's all from me. Yep, I'm not sure how it works, but the spammers have got some sort of work around that is tricking my spam filter into thinking that the email is originating from my address. And even better, they all seem to be coming from folks offering to help me enlarge and enhance my male member, if I only had one. Yes, on a daily basis I get bombarded with such savoury subject lines as "**** her from behind", "nine inches in 2009". I could go on, but the rest aren't really appropriate to repeat. It's annoying as hell, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I report the content to SPAMCOP.com, but that doesn't stop it, it just rats on the senders, if their webhosts really give a crap what they're doing. I've complained to my email service provider and their IT department just gave me some "a lot of people have viruses lately" mumbo jumbo (I HATE when IT schmucks just spew back standarized boxed answers to complaints). I really don't think it's a virus. My sister (same provider) is having the exact same problem. I think their spam filter is on the fritz. The only thing it seems to be catching these days it legit stuff that I subscribe to and everything else just sails on through. Suggestions would be appreciated.

Happy 2009!

2009-01-02T21:11:00.004-05:00

After my little holiday hiatus I am happy to finally be back in the blogosphere. I find it difficult to sit at the computer for any length of time with my husband and two kids hanging over me. It makes me all paranoid and defensive ... like they are watching me. And of course it's only a matter of time before someone is climbing on me (the kids I mean - my husband doesn't do that at the computer).

So finally with a little computer time to myself I would like to present my New Year's goals. That's right, goals, not resolutions. Resolutions sounds so stuffy and proper and impossible to honour, so I'm setting goals. Resolutions are to be broken. Goals are to be strived for and reached. So, my goals for 2009 ...

Get in better shape.

Be more positive.

Write more; set some goals and work towards them.

Teach my oldest daughter to play the piano.

Enjoy life more.

What are your goals for 2009?

Finished!

2008-12-23T18:54:00.005-05:00

After frantically finishing NaNoWriMo I rattled off a list of projects I needed to get done before Christmas. Today I completed my last task, a Christmas stocking for our youngest. Now with my shopping done too I can sit back, relax and just hang out with my hubby and the kids for the holidays. Sweet.

Stranded

2008-12-21T18:47:00.008-05:00

Yep. We are. Stranded. We were heading home from our weekend Christmas celebration at my in-laws. We knew the last portion of highway heading north to our town was closed, so we drove inland to come in from the east. By the time we were about 40 minutes from home the other highway was closed. We are now camped out in a small motel in the middle of no where. But it's all good. The kids are using my hubby as a jungle gym and we are able to piggyback on someone's wireless internet connection. The plan is to watch Christmas shows and brew up some hot chocolate in the coffee maker. It's actually kind of fun.

Update: ('cause I'm bored and this is ceasing to be fun) The above map shows the road conditions in our part of the province. The black bolded highways have poor visibility. The little signs with diagonal lines mean that the road is closed. The conditions are far worse now than when we set out this afternoon from the in-laws. I hope this doesn't mean that we will be stuck here at the Bates Motel tomorrow. The latest reports are that the plows have been pulled off the roads in the three surrounding counties. This is not unusual for our part of the province, but it is for so early in the winter. And we are usually snug in our comfy little home snuggling with the kitties by the fire and sipping hot chocolate, not in a motel on the side of the road ... at least this will make for a good Christmas story in the years to come.

Mystery morsels ...

2008-12-18T16:58:00.008-05:00

About three times a year we receive a package from China. The senders are our youngest daughter's former foster family (she spent weekends with them during the months leading up to our adoption). Today the Christmas parcel arrived. In keeping with their intent to help our daughter maintain a connection to her Chinese roots as well as to expose us to our daughter's birth culture, in addition to the usual toys and knicknacks the foster family sent us something inherently Chinese. In the past it has been such treasures as laquerware, miniature clay tea pots, jade trinkets. This time it was food. I'm not talking the delectable chocolate treats that graced our daughter's birthday package. This is the real deal and there's a box FULL of it. I could open a small food kiosk in the local mall, if we had one ... There are eight different things to choose from, some savory, some sweet. There are spicy crackers, peanut clusters, some sort of rice cakes, strawberry-flavoured biscuits, bags of small pecans, chowmein noodle squares (that look similar to rice krispie squares), little sausage thingies vacuum sealed in foil (that we absolutely will not be eating - they went past their best before date during shipping) and these:

I don't know what the heck these things are, these little gelatinous spheres that can't be identified as man made or natural. I considered they might be some sort of processed lychee fruit, but I can't be sure, so I'm thinking they will also be filed in the "will not be eating" category. Our oldest, who is not Chinese and definitely not a culinary adventurer, has thrown everything into the "will not be eating" category. Meanwhile her younger sister is going to town. It is obvious that these are familiar tastes to her and she is excited beyond excited to have a whole box of nummy snacks from home sitting in the kitchen, especially snacks that she doesn't have to compete with her sibling for.

Food wussiness aside, we are so thankful to have these generous people in our lives. It is the exception, not the rule in Chinese adoption to have contact with the foster family (it is usually discouraged). While I understand the reasons for it, it is unfortunate. This family, who now feel like part of our family, are a valuable link for our daughter to her past and her homeland.

update: We got brave. The weird gelatinous spheres are definitely man made. They are an outer tasteless section surrounding black grainy stuff that tastes somewhat like sesame oil. Not good. Even our youngest concurs.

Thought for the day ...

2008-12-14T09:39:00.003-05:00

Actually, there are three of them. Today I received one of those friendship chain-letter email thingys. Usually I find them sucky and annoying and don't forward them on/return them (apparently not wanting to bother others with unwanted junk in their inbox makes me a bad friend). However, the one I read this morning had lots of great little motivational phrases and I actually made the effort to pass it on. Here are some of the words of wisdom contained therein:

My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what I might have been.

If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished.

Christmas Cookie Casualty

2008-12-10T21:13:00.003-05:00

My husband has a favorite saying, "it's amazing that the human race has survived so long. The young of the species are so helpless." This is often said in exasperation after one of our kids has done a bone-headed thing. This would be such a case. While assisting with Christmas cookie duty our oldest got injured. Baking would seem to be a pretty innocuous activity. Apparently not. No, she didn't get her finger caught in the mix-master. She burned herself. This seems like an obvious enough cooking injury, but the bizarre part is where. Get this, her chin! That's right, only my schmoopster would burn her pretty little chin while standing on her tippy-toes trying to sniff the fresh tray of cookies newly pulled from the oven. She is now sporting a nasty looking crusty red strip about an inch long across her chin. Fortunately she is very fairly complexed, so the scar probably won't be that obvious. I have made a mental note not to let her help carve the Christmas turkey.

Festive flicks ...

2008-12-08T14:37:00.005-05:00

Now that my kiddies are feeling more themselves (both had bronchitis last week & one had a bonus ear infection) and I've had a chance to start my Christmas baking, I'm getting into the festive mood. I love this time of year! One of the things I really enjoy is sitting back and watching a favorite Christmas movie/show with my hubby & kids. This can be quite time consuming since we have lots of favorites in our house. Heavily in rotation are:

Elf - I'm not usually a big Will Farrell fan, but he was born to play this role. I love Buddy!

The Polar Express - Freaky, zombiesque eyes aside, the animation in this movie is fabulous as is the music. My kids have several dance routines they've made up to the soundtrack, which can be heard blasting from our stereo at any time of the year. I'm sure our neighbours are wondering if they're living next to a family of elves (insert Ray's short joke here ...)

The Grinch (the original cartoon, not the Jim Carey abomination of a movie), Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph - classic, classic, classic

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - Chevy Chase at his best. Plus it's my mother's favorite, so every year I watch this in her honour.

White Christmas - It just wouldn't be Christmas without Bing and Rosemary crooning that classic tune ...

What is your favorite holiday flick?

Barbie wins smackdown against "bratty" rivals!

2008-12-05T12:50:00.004-05:00

I don't like Bratz dolls. If you know me, this probably isn't news. As the mother of two little girls I think they send a horrible message to young kids. If you're unfamiliar with these diva dollies they have exaggeratedly large hips & lips, heavily made-up eyes and tend to sport provocative clothing that usually includes belly tops and mini-skirts (and really, I'm no prude). Whoever thought that it's healthy for five year olds to idealize little hoochie mammas with attitude needs a slap. The really sad part is people have bought into it. They are wildly popular with the line now including games, clothing, bedding, movies, Bratz Boyz and even Bratz Petz. Admittedly even we have one, though she is a sport version, tastefully dressed in soccer shorts and tee-shirt (it was a shameful, though highly successful bribe aimed at motivating our oldest to get over her fear of "getting kicked" during soccer).

Well after the holidays it seems that the these vinyl vixens will be disappearing from the market. Toy giant Mattel, maker of Barbie, the Bratz biggest rival, has recently won a copyright infringement lawsuit against MGA, the company that manufactures Bratz. The court case found that the designer of Bratz was still under contract with Mattel when the concept for the dolls was conceived. To that end, the judge ruled after the holidays all remaining Bratz must be recalled from retailers and MGA's moulds and other equipment for fabricating the dolls must be destroyed. Mattel has also been awarded 100 million dollars for breach of contract and copyright infringement.

While I would have preferred that Bratz were disappearing for more noble reasons I'll celebrate their demise regardless. No more will I have to endure hours of begging every birthday, Christmas, and shopping opportunity in between. I have explained for the last time why they are "inappropriate". Hallelujah!

Now if we could only get Barbie to work on that unhealthy body image ...

The sweetest sound ...

2008-12-01T21:05:00.006-05:00

Our family is very verbal, especially my husband and our oldest daughter. They love to talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Which is great. I love it. Words and communication are an essential part of life for someone aspiring to write well.

Our youngest daughter loves to talk too. However, speech has been a big challenge for her. My youngest has a moderate/severe hearing loss. Her loss inhibits her ability to hear certain speech tones such as "s", "sh", hard sounds like "k", and the endings of words. This combined with the fact that her hearing loss went unaided until she was almost three (we adopted her at age 2 1/2) and English is her second language, she has had some significant obstacles to overcome with speech. That being said, she has made monumental strides and with a lot of hard work and the assistance of a kick ass speech therapist she is pretty much on target for a child of her age with both receptive and expressive language. Our biggest challenge now is teaching her the speech sounds that are missing from her repertoire.

Tonight while doing some "home work", for the heck of it I pulled out the flash cards of words ending in the "s" sound ... house, mouse, dice, kiss (we had put these away a few months ago because she simply couldn't produce the sound). Well I almost fell off my chair!

me: What's this? (while showing my baby a picture of Mickey Mouse)

R: mouSe!

I thought it must be a fluke so I tried again.

me: What's this? (displaying a picture of a school bus)

R: (jumping up and down excitedly) buS! I wan to ride on a hool buS!

We all jumped up and down excitedly. Then we did the only thing we could do. Celebrate with banana splits.

Canada Reads!

2008-11-27T20:56:00.018-05:00

This week CBC, our national broadcaster, announced the line up for "Canada Reads 2009". For those of you unfamiliar with this event it is kind of a combination virtual book club and debate. Every year Canada Reads features five Canadian works of fiction each of which are presented and defended by one of five Canadian celebrity panelists. The proceedings will be hosted by the always adorable Jian Ghomeshi and will take place the week of March 2 - 6. By the end of the week the Canada Reads panel will declare a winner (although I don't think there is much of a prize other than the honour and a nice jump in book sales). In the mean time you can wade into the novels and join in with the online discussion in the forum. Or, if you're like me, you can wait until the debate, let the panellists duke it out and then choose a book. And hopefully you'll discover some great Canadian lit along the way.

This year's line up:

The Book Of Negroes by Lawrence Hill

This is the saga of a woman's life from childhood to slavery and finally freedom.

The Book Of Negroes is being defended by television host Avi Lewis.

The Fat Woman Next Door Is Pregnant by Michel Tremblay, translated by Sheila Fischman

A day in the life of the author's childhood neighbourhood in Montreal comes to life in this tale defended by radio and television broadcaster

Anne-Marie Withenshaw.

Fruit by Brian Francis
This is the story of an overweight, unpopular thirteen year old growing up in the eighties in the largely blue-collar city of Sarnia. In order to deal with the ridicule of his peers the hero of this book retreats into his own imaginery world, complete with glamorous "Bedtime Movies" and a pair of talking nipples (hey, I'm not making this up!)

Fruit is being defended by Vancouver writer and radio personality Jen Sookfong Lee.

Mercy Among The Children by David Adams Richards
This novel set in the Miramichi region of New Brunswick examines the consequences when a boy vows to God that he will always turn the other cheek.
This title is being defended by singer/songwriter Sarah Slean.

The Outlander by Gil Adamson

The year is 1903 and a young woman finds herself on the run across Canada's west after becoming a widow "by her own hand."

Gemini award-winning actor and filmmaker Nicholas Campbell will be defending.

Happy reading!

I'm a wiener, I'm a wiener!

2008-11-25T22:57:00.004-05:00

May I direct your attention to the shiny new web badge proudly displayed in my sidebar, the lovely colour-coordinated one with the viking ship. Yes, that's right, as of 10:56 pm I crossed that elusive NaNoWriMo finish line, and five days under schedule! I have been a writing fiend (mainly out of sheer panic).

What now? Um, bed. Then I'm taking a short break from the writing thing and focusing on a pile of holiday projects that are hanging over me. I have two Christmas stockings to make and embellish, a little sewing project for Santa Claus, a scarf to finish knitting, a gingerbread house to decorate, generally putting on my Martha Stewart hat (does Martha wear hats? ... anyways, you get the picture). I still plan on blogging though, to keep some writerly momentum going. Besides, I'd miss you guys.

Ok, off to do a little celebratory happy dance, then sleep. My brain is tired.

Slight recalibration ...

2008-11-22T12:01:00.006-05:00

Due to the continued wintry weather through the night we need to make a slight recalibration of the amount of snowfall in my previous post ...
Up until now I have never seen the words "momentous" and "colossal" used in a snow squall warning. Crazy.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ...

2008-11-21T16:46:00.005-05:00

Oh, yes. I don't know about where you may live (some of you Michiganers might know of what I speak), but it's been snowing here now for about five days straight. Not unusual for one of Ontario's "snowbelt" areas ... if it were January! We have over a foot of the fluffy white stuff out in the yard now and more if you look at the snowbanks lining the driveway where we have shovelled, repeatedly. It's crazy! And apparently we're not done yet.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm one of those twisted winter-enjoying types (winter-loving is too strong). We take the kids skating every weekend, we like skiing, tobogganing, snowshoeing ... but even I am not thrilled when winter decides to rear it's frosty head this early. At this rate the snow banks will be too high for me to shovel any more by Christmas (insert Ray's short joke here).

I'm trying to find the silver lining inside the snow squall:
1. the kids love it
2. we will have really impressive pictures to send to my youngest daughter's former foster family in southern China
3. I can finally bust out the funky chunky scarf I knit myself last winter
4. the Christmas decorations that we are going to put up tomorrow will look totally fab with all of the snow to set them off. Yes, my oldest convinced my dh to let the kids decorate the Christmas tree tomorrow while he clamours up the ladder to put up the lights outside. It's a tad early, but what the heck, might as well go with it.

Back on track

2008-11-19T21:31:00.003-05:00

Consider my last post therapy. It always seems when I feel overwhelmed and then post about it a good night's sleep gets me back on my feet and ready to go again. I have gone ahead and submitted an idea to the newspaper for a column. The theme is green living for families. I thought it was a pretty wide topic with lots of interesting possibilities. I'll keep you posted.

Lest we forget ...

2008-11-11T09:57:00.006-05:00

Today Canada recognizes Remembrance Day, a time when we pause to honour our veterans of conflicts past and present. A time to remember the sacrifice of those who so valiantly fought and never made it home.

Today I will remember in particular one of the many brave men in our family who have served. I will remember him because for many years he was forgotten. His name was Arthur Manuel Hall. He was my maternal great-great-grandfather.

I discovered Arthur quite by accident. I was researching the background of a medal that my father had been given years before. As I examined it, looking for information to enter into my google search I found a name and service number inscribed on the side of the coin-like medallion. The name was Arthur M. Hall. I recognized this as my great grandfather's name, Arthur Montague. Curious for more details of my great grandfather's service I performed a search of the national Library and Archive's World War I database. I found Arthur amongst many other Arthur Halls, but one stood out. It was the name just above his. The name was similar, Arthur Manuel Hall, maybe a coincidence, but the regimental number for the two soldiers was almost identical. I clicked on Arthur Manuel's name. I was amazed as I read his attestation, or enlistment papers. Arthur Manuel was Arthur Montague's father.

I called my grandmother and pressed for details. She knew none. We had worked on the family tree before and there was never any mention of Arthur Senior. Even with the details I could now provide her my grandmother remembered nothing. She explained that she knew very little even about her own father, who died when she was only a teenager from complications related to being gassed during the war. There was never any talk of her grandfather.

It was an odd feeling to be the first person in decades to be introduced to Arthur. His papers told me he was a small man, only 5'4". He had a dark complexion with black hair and brown eyes. He had his initials "A.H." and a figure tattooed on his left arm. Arthur worked as a tin smith.

Over the next several weeks I tried to find out as much as I could about Arthur Senior. It was as though this long lost member of my family was coming to life before my eyes. The information was sparse. I learned about his regiment, where he fought, that Arthur had been killed in action. After consulting with a message board of WWI experts I also learned the details of Arthur's death. One of the members had taken the particulars and found the diary record for Arthur's battalion on the day he died.

War diary of the 1st Canadian Infantry Battalion 1917, Dec. 9th:
"During Day Enemy very quiet. Enemy barrage came down on right of our front line at 2:00 A.M. Enemy raided battalion on our immediate right – (27th Canadian Battalion) – Enemy never passed our wire. One non commissioned officer and 10 men wiring. Night very dark. Weather raining. Casualties – four on right killed, two on right injured"

That is all, just a notation on a page. There is no description of how. There is no name.
His military records disclose no more about his death. There is no medical report. The casualty card simply states "killed at front," his injuries apparently catastrophic since no aid was administered. He was simply one of four killed on the right, a notation in a column in a journal.

I am comforted however that he was not one of the countless unidentified soldiers buried in an unmarked grave. Arthur Manuel was laid to rest in a reportedly pretty little cemetery in the French countryside. The details of how he came to be in this serene place under the shadow of a large stone cross, rather than one in a vast landscape of crosses in one of the larger burying grounds remains a mystery yet for me to solve. But I know this. One day I will travel to France and find the pretty little cemetery known as "la sucrerie", after a sugar factory that once stood on the grounds. I will find this place and seek out quadrant II, plot C, marker number 13 and I will sit by my great-great grandfather's grave and I will tell him that he is not forgotten.

Lest we forget ...

What I've learned from NaNoWriMo, week 1 ...

2008-11-08T23:12:00.003-05:00

1. 1,667 words per day isn't as hard as I thought it would be
2. I eat compulsively when I write (there goes my 13 lb weight loss all to hell!)
3. those little Halloween-sized Coffee Crisp bars are brutally addictive and should not be legal
4. my husband is extremely supportive of my writing (shouldn't have doubted that)
5. I really can be productive at the computer and manage with the rest of my daily routine (I just have to be creative with how I go about it)

I'm having a pity party, want to come?

2008-11-06T21:10:00.003-05:00

Ok, Vivi, I've officially joined you in the ranks of NaNo-bitch. The wheels have essentially fallen off my grand NaNo plan and I am struggling to hold on. As you all may recall I made the momentous decision to start dragging my keester out of bed at 5:00 am to allow myself two hours of uninterrupted "me time" so I could try to foster a writing routine. This worked like a charm, for exactly two days. I was productive. Things were flowing. Then the fargin' time change happened. I expected it would cause a temporary disruption in the girls' sleep (they normally awaken at 7:30, so probably count on a few 6:30 ish mornings ...) Wrong. For some reason the time change caused my youngest's "mommy detector" to go into hyperdrive. For four mornings straight she woke up at 5:15! On two of those days I hadn't even gotten my document open before I heard her staggering down the hall. And not only was she up, she was up to stay. The first morning I made the mistake of trying to take her back to bed. The shrieking that ensued was horrendous, especially since she shares a room with her sister. So the darling child was hauled into mommy & daddy's bed where my poor groggy husband was expecting us. After four mornings we decided that we were getting dangerously close to this developing into an ingrained pattern. So very begrudgingly I have given up trying to get up at 5:00. I am now trying to squeeze my writing in where ever I can grab a few minutes. I'm managing to make my word count goals so far, but this kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing. My main reason for NaNoing this year was to make some time for me and to establish a good writing routine. I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling somewhat resentful yesterday. Apparently even by dragging myself out of bed over two hours earlier than the kids normal wake up call, I'm still not allowed to have any "mommy time".

Fortunately when my youngest woke up crying at 5:40 this morning (I guess she realized she'd overslept her previous 5:15 wake up call) I was able to get her back to sleep and she stayed asleep until 7:00. Even better was that my oldest wasn't woken by her little sister's escapades and she was able to sleep until 7:30. Fingers crossed that tomorrow sees further improvements. I'm hoping that if I can get the kids back on track sleep-wise that in a new days I may be able to try sneaking out of bed at the crack of dawn once more.

Taking a brief pause from NaNo ...

2008-11-03T12:42:00.005-05:00

.. to mourn the loss of Joaquin Phoenix. No, he hasn't died. But he has officially announced his intentions to retire from acting to pursue a music career. I am devastated. He is my ultimate favorite actor. He was just so deliciously creepy as the spitefully jealous Commodus in Gladiator and riveting as a troubled young Johnny Cash in Walk The Line. I could go on, but I'll get depressed. Since it would be horribly bad karma I won't selfishly hope for him to fail at his newest endeavor so that he will return to our movie screens where he belongs. Instead I will wish him well and savour his last film Two Lovers. sniff. Good bye Joaquin.

Swing away Merrill, swing away ...

Work in progress!

2008-11-01T07:52:00.003-04:00

I am happy to report that bright and early this morning I officially started Nano'ing. And yes, I hauled my sorry carcass out of bed at 5:00 a.m. And no, it didn't kill me. In fact, despite the lack of reporting on my sorry excuse of a word count widget, my tally for this morning is 1,915 words, 248 over the average daily requirement (to hit the 50,000 mark by November 30). Just like clock work, when I hit save after my last word count check my youngest rolled out of bed, but not until I had over two hours of uninterrupted writing time. I could really get into this early to rise thing (I might actually have to begrudgingly admit to my DH that he's been right all along - damn!)

Consider the trigger pulled ...

2008-10-29T22:08:00.004-04:00

It's official. I've registered. I'm NaNo'ing. I'm also crazy, but that's not news. Here's the thing, I want to write. I've been told I should write - by three teachers, assorted family & friends, a psychic and now a tarot reader. I'm thinking maybe it's something I should pursue. On the other hand, I'm big on procrastination, self-doubt etc. so NaNoWriMo is going to be my proverbial kick in the pants. That being said, I'm now feeling somewhat naseous and quite a bit like I did before I started training for my first duathlon ... scared crapless, not really believing that I could/would really do it. But, since I had publicly declared my intentions I felt compelled to press on. I didn't want to feel like a quitter, nor did I want others to see me as one (peer pressure is a powerful thing, even if it's just imagined). I sucked up the fear and did it. Then I did it again. I'm hoping NaNo has the same affect on my writing.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo here's the rundown - copied directly from their site ('cause I'm too worried about my own word count right now to be bothered rewriting someone else's stuff):

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and—when the thing is done—the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children.

In 2007, we had over 100,000 participants. More than 15,000 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

Wish me luck! If you're NaNo'ing too and want to be my buddy here's my link.

2008-10-28T13:24:00.006-04:00

Lots going on. Haven't been writing, but actually part of what I've been up to has to do with writing.
First, was my awesome hubby's birthday. That was Friday. We had a quiet dinner at a local favorite restaurant with the girls and then dessert at home. The festivities continued Sunday night with my family at yet another restaurant (no complaints here with all that cooking-free dining!)

On Saturday night, at the invitation of my friend Kellie, I attended "Ghoul's Night Out" with my sister and twelve other witches. Yes, that's witches, not bitches. It was a fund raiser for our county museum. The event was a ladies only costume party (come in your witchiest attire) complete with dancing, appetizers, funky cocktails (too bad I was a dd!), karaoke and tarot card readings. Lots of girlie fun! The party was also sponsored by a local spa, so every ghoul got a nice goodie bag full of pamper-yourself samples to take home.

Thrown in with all of the festivities I managed to completely reorganize our bomb-site of a yet-to-be-finished basement. This will be ever so helpful when it comes time to haul the Christmas decorations out in about five (?!!) weeks. It also allowed us to move our desk downstairs to it's future home in our future office. In the mean time our familyroom has become much more spacious. My computer has also now moved upstairs to my stepdaughter's bedroom. OJ is rarely here anymore due to those teengerish things like work and socializing, so we didn't think she would mind. Plus we didn't think she would object to having the computer in her room when she is here (I'll just hang out on my hubby's laptop on those occasions).

So what does all of this have to do with writing?
My husband's birthday? Nothing.
Ghoul's Night Out? My tarot reading was very favourable to me pursuing my writing. I was told I should start working on this "artistic" thing in question now and that I need to get over my guilt and just do it. It is part of who I am and others will benefit from it. The only catch - the tarot lady suggested I start getting up at 5:00 am to make time to write (the thoughts of 5:00 am are extrutiatingly painful to me and is something I will definitely have to ease into)
Moving the computer? I now have a much brighter, less cluttered, quiet place to work.

In the week since I posted last I have also been trying to work on an outline. I am this close to signing up for NaNoWriMo. For those unfamiliar I will post about it once I pull the trigger. My husband has actually been very supportive of this crazy idea. I just need to work on the 5:00 am thing ...

Hippy Dippy Joy Joy ...

2008-10-19T20:59:00.005-04:00

We spent the afternoon at my father's house today. As my hubby helped my dad with some outside work I felt myself at loose ends. I started poking around and discovered a treasure tucked away in my old bedroom closet. Years ago I packed and stashed one of my childhood favorites ... the Sunshine Family Craft Store. My intent was to save it for my future kids. Well, the future kids were happily playing downstairs, so why not break it out, set it up and let them enjoy a blast from the past.

As the store took shape I had to laugh. It is truly a relic of the 70's (totally dating myself here!). The faux bookshelves are stacked with such titles as Beginner Weaving and Pottery For Fun And Profit. There is a large macrame wall hanging adorning the shop. While there actually aren't any potted "herbs" to speak of you can almost smell some questionable aromas lingering on the premises. But what else would you expect from a family of dolls where the mother wears peasant skirts and sandals and the father sports a turle neck and dabbles in pottery?

Being schooled by my three year old ...

2008-10-13T22:42:00.003-04:00

So yesterday we were at my inlaws. I busted my three year old for enhancing her grandmother's dining table decor by emptying and arranging a tray of ice cubes amongst the dishes. In her typical manner she wailed like I had just murdered her best friend and ran to my hubby to rat me out for being a mean mommy. When she found no sympathy there she headed upstairs. I followed her up and and found her standing quietly in one of the bedrooms. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm madding!" I tried not to laugh. How cute, I thought.
Everyone else oohed and awwwed at my pumpkin's cuteness when I told my story.
Well she's got the last laugh now. Out of curiosity I looked it up and guess what? Mad can be used as a verb! Who knew?! Other than my three year old, that is.

verb (used without object)
Archaic. to be, become, or act mad
Inflected form(s); mad.ded; mad.ding

Happy Thanksgiving, eh

2008-10-10T22:42:00.003-04:00

As we embark on our Canadian Thanksgiving weekend I could post about the usual "this is what I'm thankful for." However, anyone who knows me knows what I'm thankful for and it's probably quite similar to what they themselves are thankful for. So, for a different spin on things here's what I am not thankful for:

1. A federal election here being held simultaneously with a federal election south of the border, both of which seem based more on mud-slinging than dealing with the serious issues that should be addressed.

2. The inevitability of a second term with Stephen Harper as the hapless leader of our country.

3. The fact that a serving of Pepsi counts as 3 w.w. points (particularly brutal when I'm only allowed 18 pts/day!)

4. That my computer seems to be dying a slow, painful death (but I will be VERY thankful for the laptop that my hubby has promised as its replacement when it finally meets its ultimate demise ... )

5. That my youngest has declared all out war with me on the potty-training front. The little wench is one obstinate chiquita, but I.will.have.victory.

I hope everyone has an enjoyable weekend with their loved ones. And to my American friends, while we may get to eat our turkey one month earlier, you get the Macy's parade and a four day weekend (as aforementioned obstinate preschooler would say "no fair!")

ARMY OF WOMEN ...

2008-10-08T11:23:00.004-04:00

If you are a woman or have a wife, mother, daughter ... this is a revolutionary project that needs your help. The Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation and the Avon Foundation have joined forces to create the Army Of Women initiative. This project has two goals :

"1. To recruit one million healthy women of every age and ethnicity, including breast cancer survivors and women at high-risk for the disease, to partner with breast cancer researchers and directly participate in the research that will eradicate breast cancer once and for all.

2. To challenge the scientific community to expand its current focus to include breast cancer prevention research conducted on healthy women. "

Unfortunately, this project is currently only open to women residing in the U.S. because, at this time, it only involves American researchers. However, I know there are American gals/guys who read this blog and my Canadian readers all probably know at least one American woman that they can share this information with. This is an important, fresh approach to finding a cause and preventative measures for breast cancer that will benefit all women.
The link for the project is here. Pass it on!!!

Root and Sprout, again!

2008-10-01T13:58:00.003-04:00

While I haven't had a chance to do much in the way of writing lately I did manage to get another piece done for Root and Sprout. It appears in the October issue. Here is the link (scroll down the page to the article titled Taking A Leap Of Faith). Thanks again to Lis for giving me a place to present my work!

Writer in absentia

2008-09-23T17:36:00.002-04:00

With all the fine fall weather we've been enjoying it's been way too hard to park my butt at the computer and try to bang out something on the keyboard, especially since autumn is my most favorite time of the year. Call me a slacker, but a brisk walk (kid-free!) on a sunny September morning is wayyyy more appealing! I've taken three of late (completely self-indulgent).

It hasn't been a complete waste of valuable work time though. I find walking time is great for bouncing ideas around in my head. I've mulled over the angle of a piece I want to propose to a veterans' magazine, put it aside and focused on a cultural idea, and am now planning a kids' sports article while also plotting a short (?) story. Even if none of this is actually on paper (or my hard drive) it still counts. Kind of. Doesn't it?!

A little good news is hard to find

2008-09-15T23:09:00.003-04:00

Since my last couple of posts have been about writing I wanted to do something off topic today. I started thinking about current events trying to find something to blog about. Not a lot of good news out there. We've got the mudfest that is the election south of the border and the snooze-fest of an election that is going on here at home (I could write a page about the insanity that is the Sarah Palin phenomenon and lead that the Conservatives hold here in the poles, but my husband will think I've developed an obsession). Ike is too tragic. The economic chaos is troubling. Yep, good news is hard to find. So I'll give you some of my own ...

My youngest daughter's brain MRI was negative.
My washing machine repair will be partially covered by the warranty.
The wheeze/squeak in my chest is almost gone. The cough is completely gone (until my kids bring the next virus du jour home).
I've lost 10 lbs and am now a size 4 again (no, I'm not one of those skinny bitches obsessed with my weight - I'm petite and believe me those extra few pounds do make a difference!)
Root and Sprout will be featuring another one of my articles in the next edition.

Nothing super major (except the MRI) or earth shattering. But the most important place to find the positives and celebrate the good things is right here at home.

I'm back!

2008-09-10T22:01:00.003-04:00

Ok, forget yesterday's suckfest. Bad day. Today I refocused (thanks BPV for making me ask how much I want it), put the polish on a little article that I've had sitting on my desktop for a month and submitted it. I also started some notes for a few other ideas I've been kicking around. Tomorrow I will be digging in the basement for the research I did months ago on a particular topic (just haven't unpacked it since our move in April). It feels good to be motivated again!

Guilt and the aspiring writer ...

2008-09-09T13:55:00.002-04:00

Here's my dilemma. I want to write. I've always been told I'd good at it. I've taken some courses along the way. I'd like to try to develop my skills and give it a try.

On the other hand. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I feel that my family and home should be my first priority. This makes it extremely easy at any given time to find fifty different things that I could/should be doing instead of working at my computer. I do try to sit and write, but I feel that since I'm not a "professional writer" bringing in some income that in others' eyes I'm just blowing off time at the keyboard (I have a paranoia that when my kids are older they will have this image of me as simply being some sort of computer/internet addict and that they won't understand what I really was/am trying to do). That's where the guilt enters and I find myself pushing away from the desk and tackling another task.

I know I should designate a certain time of the day as my time and use this only to focus on my writing. Unfortunately, 9 - 11 pm is not what I would consider my optimal work time. I'm either too tired or run the risk of getting on a roll and staying up way past my bed time (a bad habit to get into when my oldest gets up between 6:30 & 7:00 each morning).

I had hoped that I could write during the hours that my youngest is at nursery school, but I find myself filling that time with other things ... working out, running errands, appointments ... things that are also much easier to tackle when I'm flying solo.

sigh ... feeling crappy about my aspirations today

September - Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month

2008-09-01T22:23:00.008-04:00

Ok, ladies (and concerned gentlemen) here is your public service announcement for the month. I will risk sounding like a broken record here (I know I've posted about this before) but it's a message that bears repeating.

As many you you know I lost my mother a year and a half ago to ovarian cancer. My sister has tested positive for BRCA2, one of the gene mutations related to breast & ovarian cancers (thanks merely to a roll of the dice I am, and therefore my biological daughter is also, BRCA2 negative).

This disease is the fifth leading cause of death amongst women and the most deadly form of cancer a woman can develop. It is extremely hard to detect. Often the symptoms are vague and mimic other illnesses. Doctors frequently miss the signs. Early diagnosis, and therefore education is crucial in beating this disease.

Here are some warning signs:

Abdominal bloating or discomfort
Changes in bowel function
Unexplained weight gain and a distended abdomen from fluid build-up
Nausea
Infertility or changes in menstruation patterns

If these symptoms persist for three weeks or longer you should see your health practitioner immediately.

For more information:

Ovarian Cancer Canada

Ovarian Cancer National Alliance

Little Miss Sunshine

2008-08-29T11:39:00.002-04:00

Upon helping my daughters make paper fans:

M: You're a fantastic mommy!
me: Ah, thanks sweetie!
M: And you're so creative ... just like me.

Guess my worries about my five year old having good self esteem might be unfounded.

My bad ... : (

2008-08-28T20:36:00.002-04:00

Bad blogger. Bad writer.
When I started out with this blog it was supposed to be my motivation to park my behind at the computer for more than wasteful purposes and perhaps produce at least a paragraph of prose more than once a week. Well, it would seem that I have completely fallen off the wagon. Funny how life will get in the way of such pursuits.

Next week I vow to get put my writer's hat back on & hit the keyboard ... just after I get my five year old off to grade one, my three year old off to nursery school (not too hopeful on that one), take the same three year old for a sedated MRI (also not too hopeful on that one - she is currently terrified of hospitals) and get a hair cut ...

Beating up on China

2008-08-22T14:46:00.004-04:00

Warning: somewhat long winded rant ...

Although I enjoy watching the Olympics I am almost happy that they will soon be coming to a close. The daily bashing in the media of the host country China has become overdone and tiresome. No other venue, in my memory, has been so scrutinized and ridiculed. I have serious doubts if the Games had been held in a western country that so much criticism would have been levelled at the host.

Admittedly I am somewhat biased towards China. It is the birthplace of our youngest daughter. We have friends who live there. I am not blind to the objectionable policies of the Chinese government, but I do not feel that the daily western witch hunt to find flaws with these Games, or more specifically the host country is necessary or fair. It borders on racism.

Does it really matter that the little girl from the opening ceremonies was lip syncing to someone else's words? Prerecording music is used all the time in the entertainment industry. This was certainly not the first or last time it will be used during an Olympic opening or closing ceremony. By the outcry in the media you would think that the Chinese Olympic committee had beaten the poor child. Sure, it seemed mean spirited to replace the child behind the voice with a little girl that the officials deemed to be prettier, but how often in life are children judged by their looks? It happens all the time, in Hollywood, the media, in school yards. That doesn't make it right and I don't think it's appropriate when it happens, but the Chinese are certainly not the first to judge someone based on their looks. Was it a heinous act worthy of an international media frenzy?

Then it was revealed that, gawd forbid, some of the firework sequences from the opening ceremonies were prerecorded and digitally enhanced. So what?! It was a show. It added to the entertainment value of the production. But again, it was portrayed as yet another example of how those untrustworthy Chinese tried to pull a fast one on the rest of the world.

Now we hear accusations that some the Chinese women's gymnastics team was under aged (apparently their younger, tinier bodies would give them an advantage). I have to wonder if this would have been questioned at all if the team hadn't dominated in the event and it wasn't a western team that was perceived as being thwarted in the process.

What about Michael Phelps? Here is an athlete who grabbed eight gold medals and smashed world records in the process. His accomplishment seems implausible, but is he questioned? Does anyone point the finger and say "he must have cheated?" No. He is celebrated. I wonder if the attitude would be different if he was Chinese.

Then there is the Jamaican track team. They dominated "the big" races in winning the men's 100m, 200m, 4 x 100 m relay and women's 100m. Again, in the process world records fell. Does anyone accuse Usain Bolt of doping? No, they line up to hand him endorsement contracts.

I am not accusing any of these athletes of cheating. What I am commenting on is the public perceptions based on the athlete's home country. I have even heard suspicions of judges throwing decisions to the Chinese in situations where there were judgement calls to be made. So now the long arm of the Chinese government has reached out to influence the international judges in several sports?

This China bashing is not limited just to the Olympics. For the last few years there seems to be a marked increase in negative press regarding China.

The Chinese are sending us toxic toys! The toys that were found to contain led paint were but a drop in the bucket of Chinese made products that flood our stores. If the west didn't have such a voracious appetite for cheaply made Chinese goods perhaps incidents such as this would not happen.

The Chinese are selling us poisonous pet food! Don't trust any food products from China!
How about not trusting any food products from Ontario? The current Maple Leaf meats recall in Canada due to an outbreak of listeria shows that any source in the food chain can be vulnerable.

Why the China bashing? I think it goes beyond human rights and remants of a communist ideology controlling the ruling regime. It has to do with power. Economic power and power in sheer numbers. And it has to do with oil. The emerging economies in Asia, with massive populations to support, are now starting to put demands on the supplies of oil that the west is so addicted to. China is seen as a threat.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive because of my child's ties to China. But I don't feel that my sensitivity is unfounded. When the media continuously portrays a particular country in a negative light it isn't long before these negative attitudes begin to permeate public perceptions. Yes, my daughter is Canadian, but simply by virtue of her beautiful face she is first and always seen as Chinese. When adopting transracially we knew we would have to deal with issues of race, we just didn't count on this issue being exacerbated by the media.

One of those days ...

2008-08-20T20:58:00.004-04:00

Today was not good. Low energy. Blah. It was a struggle to get through. I'm sure it got off to a bad start because of the lack of uninterrupted sleep from last night. Our five year old has a bad cough (allergy related) and was hacking unmercifully through the wee hours of the morning. At one point I had to relocate her to another room so she wouldn't wake the three year old.

Because of her bark, that seems to be settling into her chest, I kept our daughter home from day camp/swimming lessons today. Unfortunately her little sister had a speech therapy appointment out of town. So by 9 am we were all piled in the van and headed out on the highway. Half way there barky asked for the pewk bucket. A pail probably would have been more appropriate. Needless to say we didn't make it to our appointment.

Once back at home the day seemed to drag on. I felt like I could barely function. I was cursing the new "eating regime" I'm trying to stick to. I'm sure it was partly to blame for my lack of energy. And before any of you start in with the "are you crazy?! You don't need to lose weight!" let me just say you haven't seen me naked. Besides, I'm getting tired of camouflaging those little jiggly rolls under my clothes.

One o'clock rolled around. Thank gawd! The youngest will nap ... a reprieve! Or not. She decided that today she would like not to have a nap. No thank-you. No way. I think it's some sort of sick sense that children come pre-wired with. They can smell when you're weak and they will go for the kill every time.

I tried to relax for a few minutes and have a quiet moment in the family room (I'm not sure where the minions were by that point). One of our kitties decided to climb up on my lap. Nice kitty, purring, trying to make me feel better ... until he anchored himself to my leg with his claws and then swung off. Not only did he cut my leg, but my only pair of shorts that fit me decently (yes, I do need to lose a few). I don't think the day could get any worse. I was close to tears.

Then it happened. My wonderful, shining knight (ok, now I'm going to pewk! ha ha) My thoughtful husband sensed my distress during a phone call and cut his work out short to be home at his usual time and rescue me. After supper he whisked the kids away, not to return until just before bath time. Not only did he bring home two tired children, but also a bag of Lays. My hero! (I'll worry about counting points tomorrow).

Summer Is Waning ...

2008-08-18T21:39:00.004-04:00

Can you sense it in the air? There is a distinctive feel to when a season decides to take leave and begin preparations for its successor to arrive. When August makes that turn everything begins to look over done, dry, spent. The crickets chirp anxiously. And the evenings begin to cool, single digit temperatures making for comfortable, restful sleep. I love this part of the summer. I'm not a scorching heat lovin', hit the beach kind of gal. Autumn is my favorite time of year and I welcome it's coming with open arms. I dream of crisp fall days with rust fallen leaves crunching under foot, a trip to the apple orchard and pumpkin patch with our girls, comfort food ... ahhh.
Yep, can't wait.

Missing a homeland that's not my own ...

2008-08-07T22:57:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is the opening of the Beijing Olympics. I have been watching the coverage leading up to the games with a lot of interest and emotion. It was a year ago this week that we were packing our bags and boarding a plane to Beijing. We were embarking on a trip of a lifetime to bring home our daughter.

It was exciting to be travelling to such a foreign land. But what I never expected was to fall in love with that land. I can't say that it was love at first sight. It was a gruelling trip, mixed with strong emotions. But through the mental haze my brain managed to grasp onto the tastes, the smells, the beauty, the people.

Now when I see the familiar sights flashing across my tv screen I feel a strange longing. I miss China. I read about friends preparing to embark on their own journeys to bring their new children home and I feel envy.

I believe much of my affinity for China has to do with the fact that it is my child's homeland. It is where she is from. It is part of who she is.

As I spend the next few weeks being bombarded with images of this familiar foreign land I will feel a strong melancholy. I feel it now. One day I will return to China and introduce my daughter to the home that I miss so much.

Published!

2008-08-03T21:44:00.008-04:00

I am very excited that the August issue of Root and Sprout, a parenting ezine, features an article written by yours truly. It is titled Cultivating Community and can be found here.

While this is just a small piece, in my mind it is still an accomplishment. Root and Sprout is a great parenting resource and I am proud to have my work associated with it. It is the first thing I have had "in print" in eight years. It is something that I took the time to write, submit and put out there for public comsumption. It is the first step on my way to hopefully producing much more published work.

On The Rebound

2008-07-28T20:50:00.001-04:00

I'm not talking about a lusty affair after coming off of a difficult break up. My marriage is perfectly intact and happy. Though since I've been happily married I do seem to have been embroiled in a lusty affair with food ... but I digress.

On the advice of our youngest's physio we bought a mini tramp. Not only is it fun for the kids to play around on, it's therapeutic, helping improve coordination and strength. I thought it might also be good for me to sneak in a little exercise here and there. I could bounce, bounce, bounce off a few calories while having a laugh. The trampoline even came with a workout DVD. Perfect.

So, I put on my gear and rolled out the tramp. I threw in the video. Like all other exercise productions on came the "instructor." And like all other work out productions she had a perfectly cut body and an annoyingly perky voice. She led me through a highly inadequate warm up and then climbed up on the tramp. Ah, the fun part. Perky Perfect started to jump, her pony tail flipping in a hypnotic rhythm with her bouncing. Then she said it. "Isn't rebounding fun!" Rebounding?! Ah, great. She had to ruin my happy jumpy time by giving it an official exercise name.

Suddenly the bouncing started to actually feel like exercise. Every muscle in my lower extremities ached with each jump. Then Perky Perfect piped up again "I bet you have a big smile on your face! Rebounding is soooo much fun!" Ah, actually honey, that was a grimace on my face because lactic acid is eating a hole through my calves, but thanks for noticing ...

I struggled my way through the rest of the work out. It was tough. No kid stuff. The next day I did it again. I was actually starting to enjoy it. Not Perky though. I became very bored with her very quickly. Fortunately there are only so many "moves" you can do on a mini tramp, so it wasn't too difficult to memorize Perky's routine.

Subsequently I have kicked little miss Perfect to the curb. But not my beloved mini tramp. I have managed to bounce for 30 minutes every day except one in the last week. I put my trampoline in front of the television, tune in to a favorite show and bounce away. The kids even join me and allow me to get my work out done. Hallelujah! Have I actually found an exercise routine that is kid-friendly and doesn't require me to negotiate with my husband for 30 minutes of his valuable time so I can burn some calories?! Perfect!

A Berry Fruitful Garden

2008-07-26T21:56:00.004-04:00

Thursday night I received a panicked phone call from my father. He was leaving town in the morning and had just discovered that his raspberry patch was bursting at the seams with plump ripe fruit (I guess this mediocre, wet July we've been having was to the plants' liking). He had already picked 14 pints and couldn't do anymore. He implored me to come over on Friday and harvest what I could. I did. Ten more pints came off of the berry laden canes. Today my sister and brother-in-law harvested the remaining eight pints. That's 32 pints! Most have been frozen, some ear-marked for jam and of course more than a few eaten. In honour of this berry extravaganza here is my mother's raspberry pie recipe (the only thing I truly craved when I was pregnant with my five year old). Enjoy!

Grandma Nancy's Glazed Raspberry Pie
(Makes one 9" pie )

Ingredients:
1 quart raspberries
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
2 1/2 Tablespoons cornstarch
pinch of salt

Cook 1 cup of crushed berries with the other ingredients until thick. Pour this over the remaining whole berries in a baked pie shell. Chill.
Serve with whipped cream.

Night Caller

2008-07-23T14:32:00.002-04:00

Last night was the first in many that both my girls were having a good sound sleep and neither had awakened me. I was lost in a beautiful slumber when at 3:00 a.m. I was roused by the shrill ringing of the phone. My thoughts immediately flew to my grandmother and father. My granny is 88 and hasn't been well lately. My father has a chronic form of cancer which is currently flared up. I scrambled to answer the phone.

caller: (teenage male voice) Hi!
me: Who is this?
caller: Rodney
me: I think you have the wrong number.
caller: (said very flirtatiously) Oh, I don't think so ... (I'm beginning to feel slightly creeped out)
Actually I'm just really lonely and am randomly dialling numbers trying to find someone to talk to. (now I'm beginning to feel annoyed)
me: Rodney, I have two young kids and need to be up early in the morning.
caller: Oh, sorry. Have a good night ... (cut off by me hanging up)

By this point I was fully awake. Initially I felt a pang of guilt. What if Rodney really did need someone to talk to? I replayed (repeatedly) the conversation in my head. I came to the conclusion that he was a little too peppy and "friendly" to be someone in crisis. Then I kicked myself that we don't have caller I.D. I would have loved to have phoned young Rodney at 6:30 this morning to tell him that I was now fully awake and would really enjoy having a little chat. Sheesh! It's bad enough that my own children disrupt my sleep on a regular basis. Now, on a night they decide to give me a break I have somebody else's kid waking me up!

A Woman Of Inspiration

2008-07-22T10:16:00.004-04:00

This post should really be En garde! part deux since it is about another Olympic fencer. I think, though, that her story can be inspiring to all women.

Her name is Jujie Luan. She is a foil fencer, immigrant to Canada, and member of our 2008 Olympic team. She is also a mother of three and fifty years old!

Luan was born in Nanjing, Jiangsu province China (probably another reason that endears her to me since this is very close to our youngest daughter's birthplace). As a young girl Luan excelled at high jumping. Since the area was rich with promising track athletes she turned to the sport of badminton. However, at the age of sixteen an official decided that she should be trained in fencing and against her wishes Luan was removed from the school's badminton team and compelled to begin instruction in foil. Initially she resisted participating in her new sport, but the realization that this could be her opportunity to travel to Beijing and possibly beyond became her inspiration.

In just four years this young athlete would reach the status of icon in China. It happened in 1977 at the junior world championships. In Luan's first bout, her Russian opponent's blade snapped and punctured her left arm, her fencing arm. The match was halted while Luan received medical attention. The metal was removed from just below her bicep, she was bandaged and the tenacious 20 year old returned to the piste. Despite ongoing bleeding deep in her arm Luan persevered through the competition and climbed the podium to receive the silver medal. Her bravery was heralded in China in books and a film retelling her life story.

Jujie Luan went on to become the first Chinese athlete ever to win an Olympic fencing medal when she brought home the gold from Los Angeles in 1984. According to one article, she was so driven to win that she told her love, a man named David, that her motivation would be their future. They could not be married if she did not win the Olympics.

Luan retired from competition in 1988 after the Seoul Olympics. She and David were married and they immigrated to Canada in 1989. Since that time she has coached fencing in Edmonton.

Luan came out of retirement as the Sydney Olympics approached. In less than a year, at the age of 42 she trained herself and attained the qualification standard. Because she had not competed in many world cup events leading up to Sydney Luan entered the Olympics with a low international ranking. As a result she met a highly seeded competitor in the first round and ended with a 35th place finish.

Luan returned to Edmonton and continued with her coaching career. However, once again as the Olympics loom on the horizon, she has decided to return to the piste. This time the venue is her home country, China. At 50 years of age this self-coached athlete has met the International Fencing Federation's stringent qualifying standard. The once reluctant fencer, turned young hero will be returning to her homeland. She is now a mature woman representing a new country, but I believe that the people of China will still cheer just as loudly for their beloved Juijie Luan.

En garde!

2008-07-20T23:00:00.006-04:00

The opening of the Beijing Olympics is a little less than three weeks away. While I enjoy watching most of the sports I have to say there is one that is very near and dear to my heart. Fencing. For eight years when I lived in Ottawa I fenced competitively on the national circuit. It is with mixed emotions that I will tune in and cheer on our Canadian team.

At times I miss the sport a great deal. When you train three times a week plus compete one or two weekends per month it becomes very ingrained in your being. When I "retired" it left a big hole in my life. I regret that I never stuck it out long enough to test my full potential. My weapon, women's sabre was just in it's infancy when I left the sport. It was only beginning to be recognized at the international level and I never had the opportunity to compete outside of Canada. I often wish that I had pushed myself to continue and take that next step (there were a variety of personal reasons why, at the time, I had lost my desire to compete).

However, it is with pride and excitement that I can say that I have shared the piste with our Olympic Team's Sandra Sassine and Wendy Saschenbrecker. They were just teenagers at the time, but fierce competitors none the less. I am thrilled that they have achieved this success. Unfortunately women's sabre is not likely to be broadcast (fencing tends not to get a lot of air time) and I will probably only see these girls on the CBC's highlight show.

However, two other members of Canada's team that I also watched grow from gangly youngsters into world class athletes are foilist Josh McGuire and epeeist Sherraine Schalm. These two likely will make some of the regular Olympic coverage and I look forward to cheering them on. In fact, Sherraine has become a bit of a media darling and for good reason. She's witty, talented, not only as an athlete, but also a writer (she has a published book called Running With Swords) and she isn't hard on the eyes. Even more, Sherraine is a medal contender, so don't be surprised if you see her climbing onto that coveted podium. I won't. You can follow her personal Olympic journey here and here.

In the mean time I will put my regret aside (and I must emphasize, though it should go without saying, that I would not trade the life I have now for any of it) and will live the Olympic dream vicariously through these talented Canadian fencers. Allez!

Holy Smokes!

2008-07-15T22:50:00.003-04:00

Last night I caught my three year old smoking. Well, she hadn't really sparked up a ciggy, but what she was doing was almost as shocking. She had taken a pair of table legs from a doll house and had one hanging from her lips while the other was gripped firmly in her hand. When I told her to take the white plastic tube out her her mouth she quickly demonstrated to me that it was ok, she was just puffing on a cigarette. I was horrified. Initially I blamed it on my sister (sorry Sis!) since she is the only person that my daughter sees smoking on a regular basis. However, my sister never smokes in our house, so I was a little surprised that a three year old would so demonstrably mimic a behaviour that she hadn't really been exposed to that much. Then it dawned on me. The culprit wasn't my sister, but a movie - Grease. Both of my little ones love musicals, with all of the singing and dancing, bright costumes and high energy. A dvd that sees high rotation in our house has been Grease. Admittedly a lot of the subject matter is much too mature for a five and three year old, but I (obviously naively) thought that it would be over their heads, that they would bop along to the tunes and not clue into the grown up stuff. Wro-ong! Big lesson for me. There is lots of smoking in Grease and apparently as a result I have a three year old who has decided to take up the habit. Now I'm thinking it's just a matter of time before my five year old picks up on the sexual content. Needless to say this title has been pulled from our dvd library until later notice. Much later!

The Zoo Dilemma

2008-07-14T22:32:00.004-04:00

Friday we are bringing the girls to the zoo. I am torn. There seems to be something fundamentally wrong about taking animals out of their environment and putting them in enclosures for curious humans to oohhh and ahhhh.

On the other hand, often people respond better to a cause or a situation if they can relate to it. If we can see endangered animals up close perhaps we can develop a greater empathy for the creatures of this planet.

There is also the benefits of in-captivity breeding programs. Many species that are in serious peril often persist because they are being nurtured in protected environments. Recently the CBC documentary series The Nature of Things featured a program about threatened wildlife and conservation measures being taken in China. One of the animals highlighted was a creature called the Milu. These deer-like mammals were once extinct in the wild but through the reintroduction of the species, from a herd that has been in captivity in England, the Milu are now roaming again in Jiangsu. (Of course we must acknowledge that if it weren't for the devastating affects that humans have brought on the planet there would be no need for conservation measures, but that's another post ...)

So Friday, we will enter the zoo with a burden of guilt. But we will also enter with hope. Hope that we and our children will take away more from this encounter with some of nature's magnificent creations than a tacky souvenir from the gift shop. And hope that one day there will no longer be a need for such institutions.

Hair ...

2008-07-10T21:22:00.003-04:00

long beautiful hair, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen ...
What is it with men and hair? If there is one thing about me that disappoints my husband it's my hair. He, like many others of his sex, prefers long hair. Being a woman of shorter stature and maturing age (well, not that mature) I don't think that flowing lengthy locks suit me.

I used to have long hair. Half way down my back hair, substantial enough to twist into three braids which I in turn braided together. The waves when I unwound it were glorious. My live-in boyfriend at the time apparently thought so. In fact I always suspected it was behind our breakup. While he was away on a bike trip with the guys I cut my hair off. I thought it was time for a change. I went for a cute shoulder length do. I loved it. Evidently he didn't. Very shortly thereafter he ended our two year relationship. He would cite other reasons (the usual "I don't want to hurt you" blah, blah) but I always suspected it was the hair. I considered it the Samson effect. I chopped off the locks and the power was gone.

My hair never seemed to be an issue with the guys I dated after that. In retrospect they probably never noticed. Then enter my husband. My wonderful, sweet husband, who just happens to hate my hair. He seems to feel that I've somehow betrayed him follicularly. I'm not sure why. When we met I was sporting a mid-length style. He was never lured with promises of Rapunzelesque locks. No false advertising here. But every time I return from the hair salon I get the same disappointed sigh, perhaps a half-hearted "your hair looks nice" quickly followed by "but you know I like your hair long."

I am not alone in this land of hubby hair hatred. A girl I used to know told me that she had long hair throughout her courtship and the first weeks of her marriage. Then she decided to go for a new look and cut it. Her husband didn't speak to her for several days. Finally she gave him hell and asked if he had married her or her hair. More than once I've related this story to my better half. Every time he sides with the husband and cites radical hair chopping as a "deal breaker." While I know he is joking, I am also aware that his remark isn't without some truth in the man-world.

This morning I returned from the hair salon. I am actually trying to add a little length to my locks (getting bored with the short & sassy look). In order to struggle through the hideous "growing out" phase, as every woman knows, you have to keep cutting to maintain some semblance of style rather than watching a once manicured mane morph into a pseudo mullet. Men don't "get" this. Rather, my hubby moaned "she cut it shorter!" I attempted to explain. The "you're full of sh*t" look ensued.

After several hours my husband extended the olive branch and offered the half-hearted "you're hair looks nice." My turn for the "you're full of sh*t" look. Then my step-daughter chimed in. "I think it's cute. You look like a pixie!" While most middle-aged women don't aspire to be likened to a sprite I'll take it. After all, a compliment from a teenager definitely trumps a criticism from your spouse, especially if it's anything related to style. Now if only I could squeeze my forty-something body into some pixie-sized shorts I'd be laughing.

How Do You Like Them Apples?!

2008-07-09T21:51:00.002-04:00

This morning I heard a crazy story on the radio. The item featured an interview with an apple farmer. The man told a tale of fruit laden trees, branches broken under the weight of unharvested apples. Shortly the rotting fruit that has tumbled to the ground will be ploughed under and replaced with a housing development. Why would a farmer blessed with such overwhelming bounty sell out? Because he can't move his harvest. Apparently an Ontario farmer cannot sell his apples to people in Ontario, or anywhere for that matter. And why not? Because the market is being flooded by imported produce. Yes, while consumers munch on foreign fruit and swill Asian apple juice Canadian farmers are going bankrupt. This concept is so ridiculous it is hard to believe. Why would I need an apple from the other side of the world when I can get fresh fruit from a farmer less than 100 km away? Crazy. Sad. Infuriating.

The Bucket List

2008-07-08T12:59:00.003-04:00

Last night my hubby and I watched the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie The Bucket List. If you haven't seen it, the story is about two terminally ill men who become friends and vow to complete a list of must do things before they "kick the bucket."

While this movie plays on the old cliche "live everyday like it was your last" it really struck a nerve for me. It brought memories of my mother flooding back. The two characters in this story have the ablility and means to travel the world completing their inventory of dying wishes. My mother never had their fortunate opportunity. She was admitted to the hospital and did not leave again, her "bucket list" never even a possibility. What is so heartbreaking is that the only item on her list was simply to "go home."

So now that I've depressed you, there is a point to my post. And it is that cliche. And maybe it takes a mediocre Hollywood production to drive it home, but life is short. Opportunities are often limited so ...
take that leap of faith ...
dance like nobody's watching ...
remember it's not the number of breaths you take, but the number of moments that take your breath away ... Take your pick.
Live life to it's fullest and in the immortal words of Miss Frizzle,
"Take chances, make mistakes, get messy."

Now, go make that bucket list! (by starting this blog I've already begun working on mine)

Movie Review - Disney-Pixar's WALL.E

2008-07-05T21:48:00.004-04:00

This afternoon my hubby, mother-in-law and I braved the wilds of a Saturday matinee to introduce our three year old to the big screen. We were also in the company of our five year old who was very excited to be seeing the newest Disney-PIXAR release WALL.E . She was not disappointed.

WALL.E is the story of a lonely robot, the last of his kind, left to toil on an abandoned, garbage-strewn earth. One day our leading man, er machine, encounters a feminine robot probe who has been sent to Earth in search of any signs of regenerating life. WALL.E, from hundreds of years of function and innumerable viewings of the classic film Hello Dolly has developed not only personality, but feelings and quickly falls in love with the beguiling EVE (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator). When EVE is retrieved to her mother ship a distraught WALL.E pursues. Through his quest to follow his love WALL.E becomes an unlikely hero who unwittlingly saves not only the environmentally ravaged planet Earth, but the essence of the human race.

In keeping with true PIXAR style, the animation and creativity of this film is incredible. It is not only a feast for the eyes, but the imagination. Much of the movie is void of dialogue, as the robots interact, but the viewer always hears the message.

This film also carries a strong commentary on our planet's environmental crisis and the devestating effect humans have and could bring to the Earth. It is also a sobering glimpse at what human kind may become as hundreds of years of subgravity and sedintary existence has rendered us into blubbery baby-like beings virtually incapable of independent movement or thought. This message maybe lost on the younger viewers in the audience, but it definitely wasn't with the grown-ups. It was a sobering image.

While our youngest was only able to make it through about two-thirds of the film, it was no reflection on the movie (only an overly-stimulated three year old attention span). Our five year old loved the film, as did I (unfortunately my hubby missed the ending as he was entertaining aforementioned three year old in the parking lot). We are already looking forward to family movie night when WALL.E is released on DVD. A must see!

Our baby's all grown up! (sniff)

2008-06-25T07:23:00.002-04:00

Well today it will be official (at least in her mind). Our five year old will become a "big kid". Today she will cross over that momentous threshold from kindergarten into grade one. No longer allocated to the front of the bus. No longer segregated to "little kid" part of the playground. Personally I'm not quite as enthusiastic about her new status. It makes me a little emotional and melancholic, my little peanut no longer a baby ... Yet as I see her rolling off on the bus for the last time as a kindergartener, beaming from ear to ear, how can I not share in her joy and pride. (sniff)

"The hills are alive ... "

2008-06-23T13:23:00.007-04:00

I love musical theatre! There, I've said it loud & proud (my brother-in-law is now cringing, though I wouldn't smirk too much Mr. I-auditioned-once-as-Tigger for a Disney musical production!)

I suppose this passion started as a young child after watching The Sound of Music and The Wizard of Oz every year on television. It grew when my grandmother took my sister and me to see Annie at the Centre In the Square in Kitchener. My first professional theatre experience! In high school I helped with costumes for a couple of drama club productions and actually performed as "the bartender" and one of a "trio of fans" in Bye Bye Birdie. Later, when I moved to Toronto and then Ottawa there were many opportunities to indulge my love for theatre.

This devotion was shared and probably nurtured by my mother. On many occasions she would travel to Toronto or Ottawa and join me in the audience ... Cats, Joseph, Rent, Singing In The Rain (it actually rained on stage as the actors merrily splashed along in the puddles!) ... These are some of my favorite memories of time spent with my mom. I used to delight in the story of how, as a young woman, she orchestrated an excursion to New York City with my grandmother to hit the famed theatres of Broadway. I still have several of her old Broadway record albums.

After I moved back home from the city I still managed to see at least one production a year. Our local rec department has an annual bus trip to Toronto to take in a matinee performance of one of the city's latest musicals. Every year my mother would accompany me on this fall pilgrimage. It was our special mother-daughter time. We saw Mamma Mia!, Hairspray, Wicked ... My sister joined us for the Wicked trip and we will always be thankful that she did. Mom passed away the following spring. This past fall when I boarded the bus for Dirty Dancing my sister accompanied me again, but this time the trip felt somewhat lonelier.

My oldest daughter seems to have inherited her grandmother's passion for musical theatre. She too has repeatedly watched The Sound of Music and The Wizard of Oz (on DVD purchased for her by her grandmother). She dances along to Hairspray and High School Musical.

This year I am hopeful that it will once again a happy trio heading to the bright lights of the big city. My daughter, who will be six, may be joining us. Starting in October Mirvish Productions will be staging a revival of The Sound of Music. While it has not been confirmed, I think this will be the musical that the rec department will choose for the theatre trip.

To psych ourselves up for our autumn date we are currently engrossed in the CBC reality show How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria. A panel of expert judges have whittled down thousands of Maria hopefuls to a group of ten finalists. The winner will be cast as Maria in the Toronto production. So Sunday nights we cheer for our favorite Marias and then vote, vote, vote. This has become our mother-daughter time. I hope it gives my girl the gift of special memories that my mother gave to me.

Sound Judge-ment?

2008-06-21T08:44:00.007-04:00

This story falls into the category of "you've got to be kidding me!" It begins with me wanting to ask what Quebec Superior Court Judge Madam Justice Suzanne Tessier is smoking, but that would be defamatory, so I'll refrain. But at the very least one has to ask what the hell she was thinking?!

Here's the scenario. A twelve year old girl lives with her father and step-mother (they have legal custody). The girl is repeatedly reprimanded for posting pictures on an internet dating site. She is banned from the computer. The girl goes to a friend's house and to post pictures . She is caught and grounded. The punishment includes being forbidden to attend a class trip to Quebec City. The girl relocates to her mother's home. The mom gives her permission to travel with the class, however the school requires both parent's consent for the trip. So what's a girl to do? Why take your father to court of course.

So far this story isn't that hard to believe, at least up to the court part. Where it becomes bizarre is with the judge's verdict. She ruled in the child's favour! (you can read about it here or here). The judge determined that the punishment was too severe and that it shouldn't stand because the girl was no longer living with the father (even though he has legal custody).

As a parent I am shocked with this judge's decision. If the father had been abusive or had the girl locked in her room with only bread and water then I could see the logic. But the punishment was refusal to allow the daughter to participate in a trip. Apparently she had been repeatedly reprimanded and warned yet she continued to partake in the forbidden behaviour. So my question to the judge is when did it become excessive to remove a child's priviledge's for bad behaviour?

The judge has not only stripped this man of any authority he has over his daughter, but she has reinforced this girl's blatant disrespect for him. It also sends a terrible message to other young people. Don't like a punishment your parents have doled out? No problem, just take 'em to court.

Despite the fact that the field trip has now come and gone, the press reports that the father intends on pursuing an appeal of this decision. He says it's the only way he can regain his authority over the child. Unfortunately I think, thanks to Ms. Tessier, it's way too late.

Noun 1. writer's block - an inability to write;

2008-06-20T23:26:00.004-04:00

"She had writer's block; the words wouldn't come"
Yup, that would just about sum it up.
So here it is. My "writing blog", the place where I'm going to sit myself at the computer and make those fingers tippity tap on the keyboard until something worthy scrolls across my screen (insert snort here). Ok, the concept was good in theory. Unfortunately the monkey that has been sitting on my back for several years has not decided to shift his furry little backside just because I've resolved to be "serious."

And now the pressure is on. I've announced my blog. Heck I've invited readers of my family blog to "come on over" and take a read. The hit counter is already registering in the 50's (although you can probably take off 20 from me playing with the formatting) and I've only had this site active for two days. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining that people are coming here. I think writing on a regular basis in a blog that no one is reading would be somewhat akin to talking to yourself. Eventually I would probably start commenting on my own posts and that would be just weird. I actually encountered that once on someones page. It was as if they had an alter ego and they would make snarky shots at people who happened to make the mistake of leaving a comment. It was disturbing, kind of like a virtual ventriloquist's dummy making smart remarks. I will try to refrain ... which reminds me, I've forgotten to play with my blog settings.

Ok, well I'm off to procrastinate, er organize the site a little more. Hopefully tomorrow I'll come up with a really clever topic, or the next day ...

Welcome!

2008-06-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my new blog! I've decided I need to start working on something dedicated to me. Well, not me, but rather things that interest me. I want to start trying to stretch my writing muscle again. Topics may range from serious to frivolous. I might discuss books, recipes, health, politics, being a mom ... although I won't discuss my family in more than general terms. I have another venue for that (some of you know where that is ...) and that is where I would like to keep them since they do deserve their privacy.

Hope you find something that interests you here.
Thanks for joining me! Tracey