Hair ...

long beautiful hair, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen ...
What is it with men and hair? If there is one thing about me that disappoints my husband it's my hair. He, like many others of his sex, prefers long hair. Being a woman of shorter stature and maturing age (well, not that mature) I don't think that flowing lengthy locks suit me.

I used to have long hair. Half way down my back hair, substantial enough to twist into three braids which I in turn braided together. The waves when I unwound it were glorious. My live-in boyfriend at the time apparently thought so. In fact I always suspected it was behind our breakup. While he was away on a bike trip with the guys I cut my hair off. I thought it was time for a change. I went for a cute shoulder length do. I loved it. Evidently he didn't. Very shortly thereafter he ended our two year relationship. He would cite other reasons (the usual "I don't want to hurt you" blah, blah) but I always suspected it was the hair. I considered it the Samson effect. I chopped off the locks and the power was gone.

My hair never seemed to be an issue with the guys I dated after that. In retrospect they probably never noticed. Then enter my husband. My wonderful, sweet husband, who just happens to hate my hair. He seems to feel that I've somehow betrayed him follicularly. I'm not sure why. When we met I was sporting a mid-length style. He was never lured with promises of Rapunzelesque locks. No false advertising here. But every time I return from the hair salon I get the same disappointed sigh, perhaps a half-hearted "your hair looks nice" quickly followed by "but you know I like your hair long."

I am not alone in this land of hubby hair hatred. A girl I used to know told me that she had long hair throughout her courtship and the first weeks of her marriage. Then she decided to go for a new look and cut it. Her husband didn't speak to her for several days. Finally she gave him hell and asked if he had married her or her hair. More than once I've related this story to my better half. Every time he sides with the husband and cites radical hair chopping as a "deal breaker." While I know he is joking, I am also aware that his remark isn't without some truth in the man-world.

This morning I returned from the hair salon. I am actually trying to add a little length to my locks (getting bored with the short & sassy look). In order to struggle through the hideous "growing out" phase, as every woman knows, you have to keep cutting to maintain some semblance of style rather than watching a once manicured mane morph into a pseudo mullet. Men don't "get" this. Rather, my hubby moaned "she cut it shorter!" I attempted to explain. The "you're full of sh*t" look ensued.

After several hours my husband extended the olive branch and offered the half-hearted "you're hair looks nice." My turn for the "you're full of sh*t" look. Then my step-daughter chimed in. "I think it's cute. You look like a pixie!" While most middle-aged women don't aspire to be likened to a sprite I'll take it. After all, a compliment from a teenager definitely trumps a criticism from your spouse, especially if it's anything related to style. Now if only I could squeeze my forty-something body into some pixie-sized shorts I'd be laughing.